Why did I say I would do this every week! Why did I say that IN PUBLIC! I invented a deadline for myself and then made myself the professor. Foolishness. (Professor Julie docs Student Julie 5 points. Student Julie breaks out her laundry list of excuses, which is long and varied and includes a literal laundry list. Professor Julie says just get on with the post already.
TO BE FAIR, I was actually on track for post #2. Except then I decided to write about Gord Downie’s last concert with the Hip and I got really introspective and full of feelings and never finished. But if you ever want to talk feelings and listen to The Hip gimme a ring! In the meantime, I’m purposely going to keep it a little lighter this time around, if only for the sake of actually getting something done.
To break with convention (can it be “convention” if I’ve only done it one time?), I’ll hit each of the usual categories (can it be “usual” if I’ve only done it one time?), but not necessarily in the order you’re accustomed to (can you be accustomed to something if I’ve only done it one ti—OK you get it).
This week on the internet, Julie Van…
Can Meme
Truth be told, this is reason I made sure to blog this week. I had to share my #describeyourselfwiththreecharacters while the iron was still hot (I assume that expression means “while Robert Downey Jr. is still considered handsome”). These are so fun! Fun to see from others. Fun to compile for yourself. For me, the first two came easily. The last one took some family-sourcing but is, I think, the perfect person to complete the trio:
Let us break it down!
1) Liz Lemon. This one was a given. As Liz Lemon graced my screen wearing a snuggy cutting off slices of cheese while singing Working on My Night Cheese, it was the first time I truly experienced a pronouced “IT ME” moment. It me, Liz Lemon. It me.
2) Britta Perry. I’d like to say Britta’s on the list because we can both achieve perfectly tousled waves with our flat irons, but that honour remains hers and hers alone. I see myself in Britta because we can both be painfully smug, self righteous and holier than thou when we think we’ve been wronged. But we just have a lot of FEELINGS ok? And we both like jackets make of denim or leather!
3) Kimmy Gibbler. This was texted to me, in capital letters, when I asked my sisters who else should round out this composite. I have to admit that it totally fits. But only the OG Gibbler! None of this “Fuller House” nonsense! We furrow our brows the same way, we both eat like garbage compactors (though I “compact” it less than I did when I was a gangly teen…) and we both can’t control ourselves around John Stamos.
Can Cook
I am now realizing I also posted a sweet potato recipe last time. I swear I can cook more than sweet potatoes! I can also cook…regular potatoes! For real though, I made this at a family reunion that weekend, and it was a hit. But that’s not the reason I’m sharing it. I’m sharing it because I feel a duty as a citizen of the world to tell you that you DO NOT NEED THE TWO TWO CUPS OF SUGAR.
This is already very rich recipe. There’s butter. There’s brown sugar. There’s sweetened condensed milk. Heck, the potatoes have “sweet” right there in the name. It is the closest thing to a dessert that you can make with a vegetable. So I cannot fathom why the author of this recipe would advise you add another additional two cups of white sugar to it. I left both of them out, and they were not missed. You can trust me on this because I love sugar and still put it in my coffee every morning even though I know grown-ups are supposed to to drink it black.
Can Buy
These past few weeks have brought some MAJOR, LIFE-DEFINING internet purchases into my home. The first, a mattress. The second, a curling wand. Sadly, neither have delivered on the completely-rational expectations I placed upon them. However, both these purchases (A Leesa mattress, and a Nume curling wand) did send me down insane internet rabbit holes and I learned two important things 1) There are people that identify as mattress bloggers. That’s all they blog about! And BOY do they blog about it in-depth! Like, breaking down the composition of a mattress inch by inch. It’s involved. 2) There are more hair youtubers than I ever dreamed possible, and every one of them has a hundreds of video of themselves poised in front of a camera, breaking down the way their hair cascades, inch-by-inch.
However, there are no mattress AND hair bloggers. Which feels like a real missed opportunity. Imagine if these hair bloggers did their hair, then slept on a mattress for 12 hours, and THEN reviewed said curling wand? Now that’s a recommendation I’d heed.
Can Read
This was fascinating. If you like fashion or history or pockets (what kind of monster doesn’t like pockets?) you’ll love this. And that’s all I’m going to say about that, because the 1000 word count limit is looming.
Can Follow
This one will really only appeal to the fellow Jays fans among us, but if your heart beats for the boys in Blue, you really must follow Stacey May Fowles. During almost every game, she live-tweets corresponding gifs that only enhance the experience. It’s a treat when they’re ahead, and a comfort when they’re down. Examples!
Baseball. pic.twitter.com/mMBqprEkXU — Stacey May Fowles (@MissStaceyMay) August 31, 2016
Baseball. pic.twitter.com/leyPyTgsg7 — Stacey May Fowles (@MissStaceyMay) August 28, 2016
Baseball. pic.twitter.com/Tpe7sDv3xS — Stacey May Fowles (@MissStaceyMay) September 24, 2016
You’ll never want to watch a game without her! She also gave us the term “Dirt Bag Boyfriend” to describe Josh Donaldson. Which is just perfection.
Alright. I’m tired. I’m calling it quits, two categories short. I didn’t tell you what to stream, or even give you something to laugh at, but all in all, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what I’ve been up to on the internet lately. As for tonight, follow me on snapchat while I watch the Presidential debate and I will laugh until I cry or cry until I laugh. Could go either way!
Until next time!*
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*YES THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME, I SWEAR IT.