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Hybrid Theory

One of the upsides to thrifting is the speed at which I can get in and out of the changerooms. When thrifting, I never need go back out for an additional size, I never have to talk myself into another colour of the same garment because that’s the only large size left, and I never have to ponder if it’s worth driving to another location to see if they have the item I want. If it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit. No fuss, no deliberation. I just put the item back on the hanger, and trust it will find a good owner. 99% of the time, I’m pretty zen about the whole process. I release any ill-fitting garments back into the thrift universe and move right along.  The other 1% of the time, I go nutso and invent imaginary enemies. The story:

Last week, I tried on an 80s black lace minidress. This little minidress was so lovely. High neck, scalloped sleeves, little sparkles here and there. And, from the waist up, it fit perfectly. From the waist down, however, we had a few issues: it was too short. It wasn’t 60s mod short, it was “that girl forgot to put on pants” short. This sad fact, compounded by my sizable badonkadonk, meant I should have put it back on the rack. I should have left it for a girl slightly shorter, with a bum slightly smaller. But the vision of this slightly-more-petite woman was not sitting so well. Why should she get my fabulous lace dress? I bet she has no trouble finding clothes with her tiny goat legs and itty-bitty buttocks. Plus, I bet she never has bad hair days, and her face is never shiny, and her clothes never wrinkle, and her nylons never run. That bit… 

…Well, you get the idea. So, soley to thwart my imaginary rival, I bought the dress. The day after, I spent a good long while staring at my closet, looking for a way to make it work. It didn’t work with leggings, it didn’t work tucked into a skirt, and, try as I may, it still didn’t work as a dress. I didn’t shrink over night.

Then, finally, a light bulb moment! I pulled out a basic black H&M strapless dress I thrifted from Talize months ago. This dress is perfectly nice – good structure, roomy pockets, fits well, etc. But I’ve never worn it, mainly because I don’t really feel comfortable in strapless dresses, and I usually forgo basic black if there is a more fun alternative available. But in a stroke of genius, I concluded this basic black dress would be the ideal companion to my new lace mini.

The lace part of the mini has some stretch to it, it was lining inside that was causing trouble for my curves. So, I cut out the lining, and instead of pulling a Britney,  I wore the lace under the strapless H&M dress. And wouldn’t you know it, two wrongs make an alright dress. This hybrid dress has the lacey sleeves I like, and the length my badonkadonk needs. Hurray!

Take that, imaginary goat-legged nemesis. Until next time…


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